My dad died at the fairly young age of 46 from injuries suffered in World War I. I was 20 at the time and the army furloughed me home for his funeral. (I never got to know my dad real good as an adult, so my grief was minimal.) Also attending the funeral was my Uncle Leo and his attractive wife, Olga. "Before you return to camp," Aunt Olga said, "you must let me fix you an island-styled, Trinidadian supper." Not having a girlfriend to visit on this short trip home, I accepted. [The reason I didn't have a girlfriend was my own bone-headed fault. Before being drafted into WWII service, I did have a high school sweetheart, Barbara. But I also had eyes for her best friend, Gloria! She was more my type--petite with straight, dark hair, with brown-skinned, Latin/Oriental features--cute, but not too cute! So when I returned to camp, I APO-mailed love letters to both Barbara and Gloria. When they found out (as of course they were bound to do!) their letters to me stopped coming.] So I was glad for Aunt Olga's offer. When my friends heard about my aunt's invitation, they warned me to be careful. Uncle Leo owned a barber shop and was known, they told me, for using his razor outside of his shop defending the honor of his unfaithful-prone wife. Sure enough, after dinner, Aunt Olga made her move! But I was a young, hot-blooded, serviceman and the two of us were soon entwined in a torrid love embrace. Off came my pants, my shirt, my shoes--leaving me standing in front of my aunt in nothing but my drab, olive, army shorts! But just as I was about to follow my aunt, already naked on the bed, a loud knock came from the front door! "Uncle Leo!" I whispered. "No,he doesn't come from the shop until midnight. Wait here for me." Was she kidding? I grabbed up my clothes and started looking for a place to hide! Nowhere but a window offered escape. I looked down. The drop wasn't far. The worse I could suffer was a broken ankle! "Come to bed, hon," I heard my aunt say, "that was just a neighbor asking to borrow a cup of sugar." My dinner was beginning to churn up in my stomach, so I dressed and hastily left by the front door! I learned two life-saving rules while I was in the army. One--never write love letters to different women at the same time--especially if they are good friends! And 2--never attempt to have sex with the wife of a jealous barber!
